Politics — Gag

Ugh. The November election is creeping up on us, which means politicians are ramping up their efforts to say anything and everything to get votes.

I really loathe politics, it’s such a business, such a game, all about owing someone a favor. Candidates talk and talk about how they’ll make changes, and then when they’re in office they blame someone else for their inability to follow through.

My column in the paper tomorrow is about social media use on Super Tuesday. In writing this I figured I should look at the Facebook and Twitter feeds of the candidates. Seemed like the right thing to do and all.

Here are some of my favorites:

“We’re going to take back the White House. We’re going to take back our country.”

Take it back? From who? The democrats? Damn those democrats! We should round them up and exterminate them. Just because it didn’t work for Hitler … . [rolling my eyes]


“In order to achieve $2.50 gasoline, I need you to stand with me. Make a contribution of $25.00 or more today.”

And there’s the pitch … . Sounds like something that showed up in my spam folder along with a letter from my dear friend in India who wants me to hold an inheritance check for him. Note: I’d ask for a receipt so you can get your $25 back. You’ll need it to put gas in your tank. [rolling my eyes]


“There’s one conservative you can trust.”

Nooope. Sorry. I don’t care if you’re a conservative, liberal, martian, or canine … . Trust is earned. [rolling my eyes]


“After five straight victories, the Obama attack machine is ready for Ohio on Tuesday.”

The Obama Attack Machine? Cool! Does it have lasers? Can it fly? Can it seek out WMDs? Is this top-secret weapons technology? What if the North Koreans are watching? [rolling my eyes]

Is this the Obama Attack Machine?

“10 Things I Will Do In My First 100 Days In Office – Economic Freedom Agenda – 1) Unleash America’s Energy 2) Stop Job Killing Regulations 3) Rein In Spending 4) Repeal and Replace Obamacare 5) Balance The Budget 6) Pro-Growth & Pro-Family Tax Policy 7) Restore America’s Competitiveness 8) Negotiate Free Trade Agreements 9) Reform Entitlements and 10) Revive Housing”

Holy crap! He’s gonna do all that in 100 days? Psshh … God has nothin’ on him! [rolling my eyes]


“This morning on Meet the Press I talked about ending Obama’s war on religion …”

WTF? Did I miss something? Obama declared war on religion? Is it outlawed now?  [rolling my eyes]


“Don’t miss my interview on the O’Reilly Factor tonight at 8pm ET. I’ll be talking about my bold solutions for American energy … “

Nope, you lost me at O’Reily Factor.


And one final thought:

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is a really bad marketing strategy?

Or maybe I just have too many drunk, Irish friends.

You guessed it … [rolling my eyes]


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