My child gave himself a hickey

Me: What’s that mark on your arm? How did that happen?

Boy: Well we were playing foursquare with a basketball and …

Me: Nuh uh. Don’t give me that. A basketball DID NOT do that to your arm. What really happened?

Boy: (Looking at me for a few seconds) I got done with my math test before everyone else and I was sucking on my arm.

Me: (Poking my fingers in my eyes to relieve the pressure on my brain) OK.

Boy: It felt weird and left this weird mark.

Me: (Rolling my head around and listening to tension in my neck crack) Uh huh. Don’t suck on your arm. Or anything else like that. It’s not … it … just don’t.

Boy: OK. Can I play my game on your computer?

Me: (Leaving the room) Sure.

Boy: Where are you going?

Me: To lie down.

(Funny, I don’t remember this in those “What to expect” books.)

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