It’s been a crazy few days in MomLand. OK, I’ll be honest, it’s been a crazy few weeks. In addition to the normal routine of work, school, homework, baseball, scouts, and trying to keep the house semi-clean, I’ve had a few work-related speaking engagements that have kept me up late preparing for. Then there’s my ex husband who seems to be volunteering for extra work shifts, and the revelation from my ex boyfriend that he misses me, regrets ending our relationship, and says he still loves me. Oh, and this morning in the car on the way to school my almost 8yo asked, “How do two people make a baby?”
I just keep closing my eyes hoping this is all some sort of comedic dream. Maybe I’m being Punk’d.
Let’s begin with work: I LOVE talking about social media. I will speak to pretty much any group about how to use social media tools. Yesterday I was honored to be asked to speak at the Bakersfield Women’s Business Conference — on a panel on social media strategies for small businesses, and to lead a session on social media security and privacy for kids and teens. It was a wonderful conference and even if I’m not asked to speak again, I’d attend next year. I was totally exhausted when I got home last night, but it was totally worth it!
On to the ex husband: 1. He was supposed to be off Wednesday so I could attend a pre-conference mixer. With adults. With no kids. Nope. He worked, so I went and cheered my boy at his baseball game. 2. He’s working a day-shift today and was supposed to be off tonight. I was looking forward to running some errands kid-free. Nope, he’s working. 3. He’s supposed to be off all weekend, it’s his weekend with The Boy. Nope, he’s working Sunday night. THIS is why we aren’t married anymore. *Rolling my eyes*
And now the ex boyfriend: W.T.F.?! I mean, it’s been six months. What …. ? I’m at a total loss for words here. I’ve got emotions bubbling up that I didn’t know I was capable of. Number 5 took me by surprise this week and I’m trying to sort it all out in my head and in my heart. We text a little each day, mainly me asking questions, wanting an explanation. He wants to start out as friends and see where it goes. I don’t know what to do. He walked away with no warning and just devastated me. How do I reconcile that, or do I even try?
To make it that much harder, my son saw a text from him pop up on my phone and asked if we are getting back together.
“Because I really like him and I really miss him.”
Where do babies come from?: Arghhhh!!!!!!! I was NOT ready for my son asking how people make babies this morning! He’s not even 8 years old yet! Yes, I’m using a lot of exclamation points because this is really freaking me out!!!!!
I told him we could talk about later today, that it was complicated and I needed to think about how to explain it. While that’s true, I was just delaying so I could slow my heart-rate down and wait for the spots in my eyes to go away. Geeeze, kid. So, yeah …. any advice on that topic would be appreciated. We’ve had a long-standing movie date for this afternoon, but I’m sure he’ll bring up the baby topic again. I feel light-headed just thinking about it.
• • •
Life is hard and being a parent (at times) is even harder, so we just have to cling to the good things: My movie date with my boy today, the slide he made into home-plate on Wednesday, that fact that my ex boyfriend realizes he messed up (I find some validation in that), my friend who validated my living situation earlier this week, the fact my mom and dad are alive and doing well, the Dodger game with my grandma later this summer, my son’s video-game birthday party next Friday and then getting to see family and good friends next Saturday, and the fact today is Friday and we have no travel this weekend and only one baseball game.
I guess the rest will work itself out in time.
In the meantime, I’m just hanging on to all these lemons to throw back at a future date.