The hardest part about being a girl

Being a girl isn’t easy. There are so many times it just flat-out rough.

The painful shoes, the ‘glass ceilings’ we endure, our monthly periods and associated cramping, bloating, headaches, exhaustion, cravings, emotions, and bitchiness … it’s all part of it.

All the highs and lows — and adjusting to them constantly — are part of being a girl. “High-maintenance” doesn’t begin to cover how we feel about our own bodies.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad.

We have more career options, more clothing options, make-up to cover our blemishes (no boy will ever wear concealer), and I love geting dressed up and looking pretty — be honest, we never outgrow playing dress-up.

And can’t forget that awesome superpower of growing a life inside us. There is no way to describe that feeling, that moment when you meet the little being who has been growing inside you.

I think the thing I struggle with most are the emotions. You never see a man crying at a movie. “We Bought a Zoo” reduced me to a teary mess. At 36-years-old I recognize the PMS and am good about letting those close to me know that I’m in a mood and that it will pass.

But it’s still ridiculously frustrating. I once cried because the store didn’t have my size in the pair of shoes I wanted. I cried at that. Seriously? That happens and then I get angry at myself for crying. It’s truly horrible and makes me want to stay in bed until it passes.

I really hate the emotions, they lead to anxiety.

An ex-boyfriend tells me he still loves me, and my brain goes right into obsession mode. What does it mean? What does he want? What is he thinking? Over and over and over again I ask myself these questions.

Being a girl we try so hard to hide our emotions in so many situations. I’ve learned to control them (for the most part) at work. I’ve learned that criticizing my work, isn’t criticizing me. I’ve learned to cool off before spouting off. Showing those emotions isn’t professional.

But they are always there. And no matter how hard we try to conceal them, how hard we try to act like it doesn’t bother us, like we’ve moved on and that we don’t care … we do.

We care, we’re bothered, we’re hurt, we’re sad, we’re elated. We’re always something. And yes, a hug will always help.

Those emotions are there because we’re girls. It’s who we are.

Stupid emotions. It’s their fault I’m sitting here, still unable to let go of the hope. It’s been two weeks since my ex boyfriend told me he still loved me. Two weeks since I told him to end the relationship he was in if he wanted to try again with me. Two weeks since I’ve heard anything from him.

When you’re a girl, your emotions can so easily overpower your brain. Eventually, they get tired and retreat. All you can do is hope they don’t leave lasting battle scars.

But if they do, at least we have concealer to hide it from the rest of the world.

“Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.” 
― Marilyn Monroe

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