Online dating: This is why I’m out

Every once in a while I venture into online dating. I’m not sure why, really. Probably because I’m an eternal optimist and romantic and love to hear how people met online and fell madly in love.

*sigh*

Mostly what happens for me is that I hang my head lower with each received message, have a glass of wine, deactivate my profile, and volunteer for something to occupy what remaining free time I have.

Sorry folks, but if it means I’m picky that I’d like a man who can communicate using FULL words (with the majority of them spelled correctly), who will engage in conversation (meaning he asks some questions, too), and who isn’t looking for a one-night stand … then call me picky.

Here’s a sampling of the emails I’ve received from an online dating site over the past week.

• Hi, my name is Ron. Wow ur a cutie

Hi Ron, Thanks for the compliment. Did you read any of the bio I wrote? Can you read?

• Hi their my name is Jerry I have seen your profile. I would like to get to know you.

I actually considered replying to Jerry. So I went to his bio to find out more about him. It said, “Hi their my name is Jerry I have seen your profile. I would like to get to know you.” Hm.

• wink;-)

Not sure how to reply to that …

• Hey u…hope u had a good day…don’t know when ur going to get this txt..if not till the mrn..well then good morning k…:-):-)…ttys

Hey u thnx 4 da note. 2 bad i lookin 4 som1 who cn write me eml tat i wont need decoder 2 read.

• I think I might be able to handle you biting you nails…and sarcastic and witty is a must…I have a lot of laundry to do too..WERE A MATCH…drum e on smile…ttys k…smile

1. HANDLE me? Eff you, buddy. 2. This was the third or fourth e-mail he’d sent me in about an hour. I was in a meeting. NEXT!

And my favorite one:

• My husband likes you

[block & report]

Add to that list above, ‘MUST BE SINGLE.’

I’m OUT.

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